Friday, April 19, 2013

MAN RULES


AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN
FINALLY, the guys' side of the story. ( I MUST ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.)

WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...

PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH...

PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A BIGGER LAUGH, BECAUSE ITS TRUE!

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Last American Tanks Leave Germany

As a child of the Cold War the face off between NATO and the Warsaw Pact across a divided German Fulda Gap etched itself into my memories. The entire world sat poised on the edge of nuclear annihilation  the estimated 17,000 Main Battle Tanks sitting on the borders drew the line between life and holocaust. While I am glad to see fewer US troops in Europe the sacrifices of the WW2 generation will never be forgotten.  Three generations of American soldiers stood watch, maintained and trained to protect democracy on one of our final symbols of the Cold War era. As a veteran of war I pray that these last M1s someday serve as museum pieces, war monuments or better yet coral reef reinforcements. However, as a pragmatist I know in my hear they will someday be sent to another part of the world to stand guard over freedom.
http://www.stripes.com/us-army-s-last-tanks-depart-from-germany-1.214977

Monday, April 1, 2013

Challenge Coins hit by Sequestion


I’m always pleased to visit you at home and overseas, and leave you with a command coin as a small token of
my appreciation for your hard work, bravery, and your family’s sacrifice. But when I pass out coins later, you may notice they’re a little lighter than ones you might have gotten in the past. That’s because we had to strike them out of zinc instead of brass, to save money. They’re special coins – they won’t be around forever — but they mark a time when you and I served together, and grappled with the fiscal challenges facing our great nation.

For those of you old enough to remember, it’s kind of like the zinc-coated steel pennies that the nation minted in 1943 at the height of World War II. We needed the copper — for shell casings — so we ended up with zinc-clad pennies for a while. In the same way, my command coin will be lighter for the foreseeable future, to reflect the cuts the nation, and the nation’s military, have to make from the bottom to the top. And what better place for the U.S. military to begin – to set an example – than at the top?
General Jim Amos, Commandant USMC
Read more: Sequestion Time, #1 | TIME.com